Lemmings Handbook
According to the dictionary, lemmings are a species of small rodents, 
noted for their mass migrations, which sometimes result in mass 
drownings. Since they cross bodies of water by swimming in search of 
food, they sometimes manage to work their way to the ocean and try to 
swim across, which is less than succesfull. This practice is done in a 
follow the leader type of way, one lemming leads, all the others 
follow, no matter where he/she is headed.
That gave birth to the term Lemming, which essentially means 
one that follows blindly without thoughts of his/her own.
There are many species of human Lemmings, there's political lemmings, 
there's musical lemmings, and many other variations, but for our 
purpose, we will concentrate on the Pro Wrestling Lemmus.
These wonderful creatures pick a wrestling organization and follow it 
no matter where it leads. This is great for the wrestling 
organizations, because they can always depend on their Lemmings for 
support no matter what direction they chose to go.
So, in order to help out those that want to become loyal Lemmings, 
regardless of which organization, we will try to poll all essential 
information that will develop this transformation and make it a 
success.


THE BASICS

First of all, no matter what, all other organizations are inferior to 
your chosen one. Make a point to tell anyone you can, crowded chat 
rooms are the best places to announce your core belief that anything 
without the label of your favorite organization is inferior.
Profound statements such as "<rival organization's name> SUCKS !" are a 
good way to get this vital message accross.

Secondly, if your favorite organization should slip up and do something 
less than intelligent, point out it was "hillarious", this is the Ed 
Wood defense tactic, which states that anything that is done in an 
intended serious maner but fails, it could be considered 
unintentionally funny, hence, "hillarious".
Of course, should a rival organization attempt a less than intelligent
event, then that should be immediately labeled as "Stupid" or 
"Retarded".

Thirdly, and this is VERY IMPORTANT !
No matter what new direction your favorite organization choses to go, 
you support it and proclaim it to be the right and just path for the 
industry to follow. Even if it involves wrestling bears wearing tap 
dancing shoes, or thumb wrestling bouts between midgets, this is what 
the fans want, this is what YOU want ! Make a point to say how boring 
the other directions are and how your favorite organization has their 
fingers on the pulse of what the fans want.



THE LABELING

This is a crucial practice in being a succesful Lemming, the labeling 
process is based on scientific facts of undeniable standards, but to 
make it easy, here's the core labels and how to apply them:

Mark: Anyone that disagrees with you, use this on anyone that is so 
mentally challenged as to state his preference of any wrestler from 
other organizations.

Shill: Anyone paid by an organization to promote it or anyone selling 
products for profit, use this on anyone that works for a rival 
organization. Your organization does not have Shills, they are loyal 
employees or unbiast fans.

Lemming: the ultimate insult, use this on others that blindly follow a 
rival organization, of course, if they follow your organization, then 
they should be praised for their unique good taste and sensibility.

Labeling is a way to deal with pesky fans from the other organization, 
by labeling, you strip them of their humanity and put them in pre 
determined classes of values that are to be ignored.


MISCELANEOUS

These are bits and pieces of additional info that will help you.

Wrestlers Change Organization: If they go to your favorite 
organization, they rule and are the future of pro wrestling. If they go 
to a rival, they are washed up or sold out.

Bad Pay-Per-Views: If it's your organization, point out the few good 
spots and call it entertaining. If it's the others, the whole show 
sucked, make it a point to order rival PPV's just so you can complain 
about how bad they were, or, don't and still complain.

TV Shows: Your organization's shows will be great, hillarious, and 
creative before you watch them. The rival organization's shows will 
suck, again, you won't watch it, but it helps if you watched some of 
the really bad parts so you can comment on how much it sucked.

Ratings: If your organization is winning, they are vital and they show 
how people have good taste and watch the right thing. Should they go 
the other way, they mean nothing, since they don't reflect quality and 
they only gauge what the "Marks" are watching.

This in no way a complete list of things to do as a good loyal Lemming, 
and we would appreciate input from anyone that feels something of 
importance has been left out, e-mail your suggestions to the webmaster 
and they will be added, with proper credit of course.

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